Tough Guy

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Tackling the Tough Guy

Rob Howard / 01.02.2005

Among the many strange signs around the bustling race HQ, which is a farmyard every other day of the year, two read;

Assemble here Late Buggers
Assemble here Dickheads

... and if you asked in the office the marshals instructions were:

- Get your number
- Sign your Death Warrant
- Get your head stamped
... and we’ll give you a kick up the backside to get you on your way!

It was time for Tough Guy again!

Around 4000 competitors had gathered at the Tetenhall house sanctuary near Wolverhampton, which every year is turned into the Tough Guy course, to raise money for it’s 4-legged residents. Horse refuge and race are both run by Billy Wilson, an ex-guardsman who likes to make life tough on the competitors, and easy for the horses!

For reasons unknown he calls himself Mr. Mouse, and the whole race has a bizarre language all of it’s own. So the runners are Tough Guys, or Wobblemuckers, or for those who entered late, Dickheads and Latebuggers – which was written on their numbers.

All the competitors, no what they were called, had to sign the Death Warrant, which is the ultimate disclaimer. It begins, “I confirm that if I die on Tough Guy route 2005 it is my own bloody fault for coming� and ends with a box to be ticked if you agree to be buried on the Tough Guy ‘Killing Fields’. Those who sign it get their number written in indelible ink on their heads – as it’s likely they’ll loose their race number in the mud and water on the course.

The ‘Killing Fields’ is the fiendish obstacle course, complete with freezing water and rivers of mud, which makes up most of the course. Each year something new is added to it, and this year the new challenge was the Seal Death Plunge – a ‘walk the plank’ followed by a 10m jump into cold and murky water.

Regular Tough Guys and Gals know the ‘Killing Fields’ well, but newcomers have only the sketch maps to go on (and the newsletters from Mister Mouse, but they are written in his own unique way.) Among the unsuspecting newcomers were some experienced adventure racers. See All Event Posts